So now exams are all finished and it’s time to wait for my score. Which is silly, since im moderated against everyone in my class, and then the state or some shit.
i have this big feeling of just wanting to sleep. but then, its summer time nearly, the magpies wont swoop anymore, and the many planned rides along the yarra will be nice.
ergh.
Words can not describe how god damn scared I am over the political exams I have to do. I know I can do it, but if I am faced with the wrong essay questions then I am screwed. My score depends on one question being about the electoral act. And if you were to logically look at previous years, then this year looks like it will be constitutional. Which, is the worst fucking one out of the three.
And then, to make it worse, I can’t do public policy, mainly because I ignored it and its shit, and therefore I dont understand it or actually like it, so now I have to do foreign policy, which is my strong point in international politics, but not in Aust politics.
And my first uni pref relies heavily on my results of the two political exams. but then, my heart isnt in it. it hasnt been for a long time, while i have an interest, my heart isnt as interested. And regardless, of how small i write, or how fast, or even how many pages, I have to sit there for the two hours. I can not leave early. If i get angry, I cant walk out, I must sit there and face it, I have to show my years worth of work in two fucking hours. It is not enough time.
L(my teacher) tries the whole pep talk of “you can do it, dont get angry and you will be fine” but, it doesnt work. And she knows it doesnt work. and thats why i think i get the hug. its not words that make me understand and realise things, it’s actions.
im scared mostly of when i walk out of the exam, that when we all meet up for dinner afterwards, and she asks how we all went, that if i fuck it up, then she will be dissapointed, and I dont want to be that dissapointment, i want soemone else to be instead. Im sick of being a disapointment to everyone.
I have the legal exam as well, i have 5 days to learn the years worth of course work. when we got the fuckstain of a teacher fired, we didnt get a decent teacher as a replacement. We did for politics, just not for legal. but, the legal one was nice to look at for three hours a week.
I love the pol one too though, while she is old(not as in old old, but old as in cool old), i love her head. she is full of so much knowledge, and it is a shame that she doesnt get enough time to teach it all. so when i tell her i love her to bits, she knows its because of what she knows, and for what she has taught. and if any lil fucker gives her shit ever again when she teaches, she knows im only an email or call away.
i think i did extremely well in the english exam. 10 pages in 2 hours. small writing, like size 8 writing. the second one was the one that would end up throwing me the most, but instead of arguing the prompt, i wrote in relation to it, reference a text that i managed to read(only one i did read all year) and walked out really happy.
i need my eng to be over 30, and the two political ones to be over 38. legal i dont give a fuck what it is.
while this post may seem all jumbled and what not, i needed to write it so i can sort the shit out of my head so i can study. i am so fucked
I’ve tried to update this blog, But I never know what to type anymore, I’m not into writing “Oh this is what happened in my week and this is how I feel” So I never update this place through written words, I do however change the theme and background images when I feel like doing something on here.
But for those who read this, even though I dont publicly advertise the fact that I have a blog/website.
School is okay. I’m about to put in Uni preferences again. I’m getting great marks for most of my subjects.
I’ve also become very political and now my uni preferences really depends on politics, if big ears wins, I shall be forming my own political party for the 2013 election. If Labor wins, I wont form my own party, but I will try to form an alliance with someone whom I can’t mention just yet
This is something I feel strongly about. And it could explain why I don’t update that often. But when I do, I sit here and I type everything out. I don’t go on a big copy and paste stealing other peoples ideas or views and then produce it as my own. I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while now, everytime I would start, I would stop. However, I can’t hold this is anylonger.
The most popular post on my website is this one Why Melbourne Sucks with 94 comments. Although every comment is moderated, it is simply to stop the hate comments from getting through. Some of them are nasty and don’t need to be seen. However, everything else, is published. What pisses me off, is that a website, who beleives that they are some sort of niche online magazine, simply wrote one paragraph and then proceeded to copy 3 comments from my post.
After sending them an email informing them that I was not impressed with their lack of ability of writing an article instead of stealing from elsewhere, their response was a sarcastic haha im better then you. It almost made me want to visit their office and pull the carrot out of their butts. They did the one thing I absolutely hate. And for now, it is time to call them out for it.
I have this problem, where I start to write a post and I end up not liking it enough to publish it. So it sits in my drafts.
I don’t even feel like writing right now. But i have nothing better to do since I have had to stop doing my prep for my politics test as everywhere shuts early on a friday night in the city so i have no study space.
I thought I would try at fed square, however it is was too noisey and the big screen is too bright and I am now suffering from a big ugly headache.
