A great weight was lifted from my body the other day. I sent an email to someone and told them something I should have told them many years ago.  It doesn’t matter if they read the email or not, I just had to do it for me. I had to get it out of me. I had to admit something to someone, anyone, who could have helped me so much more many years ago.  I wont discuss what this thing was, because it is not something I would admit in an open medium, it would cause too many complications for me.

This person and I have what I would call a rocky relationship, not that it is a relationship of any sort, its not a friendship, its hard to explain what it is.  One minute when we talk she is very friendly, the next time we talk she is as colder then ice. I shouldnt talk to her, it brings me down, it makes me question things, However maybe it is time I question things,  I have questions that I dont have answers for, No one has answers for them. What should I study at uni? What do I want to do for my dream job? Do I want a boring desk job, or do i want to work with an international company that’s main goal is internationalism and its problems that could be exciting?  Do I want to travel? Do i want a house or an apartment.

Do I want kids? Do i want the white picket fence and to grow old and retire to only play bingo in the local hall?

Where will i be in 5 years?  Will my life change for better or for worse?